PROFESSIONAL HELP

How do I know if my child is having “typical” outbursts? At what age should I consider getting professional help?

All children, especially those younger than five, have temper tantrums and meltdowns. However, if your child is consistently exhibiting severe temper tantrums that are difficult to control, extremely frequent, and seem out of proportion to what is happening, it may be a good time to have them evaluated. If by the time your child is 3, these behaviors aren’t calming down with traditional parenting skills, it may be a good time to talk to a child therapist or child psychiatrist who has experience with pediatric irritability.

What type of professional do I talk to first?

It may be helpful to talk to your pediatrician or family physician. However, if they dismiss your concerns or aren’t aware of resources, seeking information from a child mental health professional is recommended.

What should I look for in therapists?

Starting with a child psychologist or clinical social worker who understands emotional dysregulation is essential. Some questions to ask:

1. Do you have experience working with parents who have emotionally explosive children? How do you work with the parents?

Look for someone who works with the parents to learn appropriate ways to respond when disruptive behavior occurs. If they are using traditional behavior management or primarily work with the child, I would recommend looking elsewhere.

There is promising research in the therapeutic model of Parent Management Training. If you can’t find a therapist in your area, they have on-line resources available.

VISIT PARENT MANAGEMENT TRAINING INSTITUTE

For kids who are on the spectrum:
i. www.profectum.org
ii. www.icdl.com

2. What books do you recommend to parents?
See recommendations on the Resources page.

Parenting neurotypical kids

One of the most common concerns I hear from parents is the difficulty controlling their own reactions when their children struggle with emotional outbursts. I want to be clear on this: It is REALLY hard to not respond out of anger when a child is frequently acting out. However, children need and require access to helpful, calm adults. The three things I have found most important in helping parents address this problem are:

1. Resource Yourself. If you are depleted, you WILL react versus be able to ACT and control yourself. Getting enough sleep and finding a little time for yourself are two crucial components to be able to respond appropriately to these kids. Pull in help from extended family, friends, church or community support so YOU have the bandwidth to parent kids who require more.

2. Tap Out. If you know you are going to blow, take a quick bathroom break and BREATHE!! This can be difficult if you have a kiddo following you- if necessary, give them a tablet or tv to distract them until you have enough time to calm down and help them.

3. Seek professional treatment/ support for YOU! Having a professional to work with how this is impacting and/or triggering you can be extremely helpful in your ability to manage yourself when your child is acting out.

Considering Medication

When I started down the road of getting my son help, when he was 5 years old, I NEVER would have thought it would lead us to consider medication. I believed, without any knowledge or experience to support my opinion, that children don’t need medication to treat behavioral issues and/or underlying mental health problems. Although I am not a child psychologist, my experience working with children and their parents led me to believe if parents are well trained and consistent in parenting techniques, their children improve.

Unfortunately, this is not always the case. It took us 3 ½ years from when we started seeking treatment to realize that a consultation with a child psychiatrist was necessary. Never during those years of meeting with several child professionals did anyone recommend a psychiatric consultation. I wish they had. It would have helped us get our son the treatment he needed to stabilize months to years earlier.

Some things to consider when deciding when and how to seek a medication consultation:

Have you tried utilizing parenting techniques developed specifically for kids who have disruptive mood disorders?

If your child is sensitive and may have sensory processing disorder, have you pursued an evaluation with an occupational therapist? Tried occupational therapy?

It is important to keep in mind that these treatments may not be enough on their own.

Sometimes children require medication to become stable enough for other types of treatment to be effective. If you are questioning if it is time to consider medication, consult with a recommended child psychiatrist or ask your pediatrician if they can seek a professional consultation with one.

Concerns I hear from parents about putting their child on psychotropic medication:

My child will become addicted.
My child will be a zombie or overmedicated.
My child will not be themself.
My child will become suicidal.

If any of the above occur when a child is taking medication, you should IMMEDIATELY talk to your prescribing physician in order to make changes. The goal of medication is to help your child become MORE like themself and to function better. If these things aren’t happening, the medication is most likely not the correct medication or dose.

Things I’ve learned as a parent with a child on medication:

Being on medication as a child doesn’t mean it will be required throughout childhood or adolescence. Children’s brains are constantly developing. Talk to your provider about what research indicates regarding length of treatment for your child’s symptoms.

It often takes adjusting doses or trying different medications to find the right ones.

It may take more than one medication to successfully treat symptoms. This is a result of many kids with mental health disorders being diagnosed with more than one illness.

Finding successful medication for your child is a JOURNEY. It is essential you are working with a prescriber who will respond to questions and concerns about your child’s reactions to medications IN-BETWEEN SESSIONS. Prescribers need to be able to make adjustments as needed without having to wait for the next appointment.

FOR A GOOD RESOURCE: “Medications Used For Behavioral & Emotional Disorders”